The total area around the Haveli, where Thakurjee Himself lives has been overtaken by vendors. They do not maintain the area at all. Every person there keeps spitting all over.
A very fantastic happening in the recent years is the renovation of the mandir premises. It is truly great that some one has the bhao enough to clear out the place; so that when Shreeji wants to spend sometime outside His mandir He will be able to do so.
We all devotees are aware, that the Thakurjee requires the highest purity to be able to stay in any place. Now, with the renovation when the surrounding area is converted into a sweet smelling garden, how happy Shreeji will be! He will actually be able to once again move around the area. We cannot be so selfish in our requirements of shopping or keeping proximity to the required areas. As it is, it all belongs to Shreeji, and I do not think anyone took permission from Him, if they could convert the area around where He lives, into a dirty place. If there is some uplifting taking place it would be only because He requires it. All should cooperate and make it the best place for Shreeji to live in. As it is He has gone away in hiding deeply and stopped interactions with the outer world. Anyone who is against this beautification and facilitation of darshans is acting selfish and has lost bhao for Thakurjee. Ultimately we all become selfish in our requirements as Shreeji is very kind. Whoever is working upon this great job of renovation; is acting as per the wish of Shreeji; so I do not think any power could stop the good which has started. May they be blessed who have only Shreeji’s comfort at heart!
Shreeji travels from Nathdwara to Mathura and back, spending the night any where He wishes to. In fact I feel at times, maybe Shreeji might actually want a weekly holiday like the rest of us; as He does His karma of standing and giving Darshans all through 24|7. We should also think to provide a free day for Him, where He will not be bound by the rules of the mandir? Could it not be a reality that Shreeji Himself is tired standing all through so many years; year after year, month after month, week after week, day after day.
When He lives there at the Haveli, waiting for His devotees, today wouldn’t He be truly sad that except a couple of bhakts, there is no one truly interested in getting to know where He truly is; what He truly wants; He must be so sad that all come only for fulfillment of worldly desires; and no one has enough bhao to want to spend time playing with Him for His happiness.
Once, when in Nathdwara the above thoughts were in my mind. I was very disturbed about the shram (tiredness) that Shreeji may experience. Also some facts from gurushree kept on repeating in my mind, about how purity of bhao has deteriorated in majority. I wondered how sad Shreeji must be with this loss of devotion and the purity in us humans today; which He had experienced earlier in His Govardhan stay; the truth is there as history, how much Shreeji enjoyed playing Live with His sakhas and sakhis. Suddenly heard His sweet and melodious voice echoing inside, complaining, “Yeh mukhiya sirf eak phirkee ghumaata rehata hai since soooo many years; main to boar ho gaya. Main bhaag jaata hun. Kuch naya nahin soachte. Mujhe lalach de kar kaam karvatee hain. Eak laddoo jiyada dekar bolte hain mera kaam kaaro. Koi mere saath khelne to nahin aata”. (Since sooooo many years this mukhiya only rotates a phirkee. I have become very bored. I run away from here. They do not think of anything new. All give me temptation to make me do their work. They give me an extra ladoo and ask me to do their work. No one comes to play with me any more).
At this I replied, “Shreeji, if You wish I could be Your friend. I will always play whenever You want; if You wish to accept me as a friend.” I was thrilled to receive an answer, immediately, “OK, tum meri best friend ho, main tumhare saath khelne aaunga”. (Ok, I will make you my best friend, I will come to play with you).
He could actually want to move away and be else where, may be He actually runs away from the mandir after the few moments when He has to stand for giving darshans; with a few true devotees who keep total love and devotion- bhao for Him. In fact you will never truly know where He truly is today; as none is close enough to Him.
My gurushree always tells me “My doors are open for Shreeji all 24 hours-He can come and go as and when He pleases”; “In this world today, people go searching for God in stone idols; the same God Energy when flowing live before them is not recognized; people are not able to feel the Divine as hearts are not open in bhao and surrender. Who guarantees that God is in the mandir and not at some other place, where He find’s shanti and purity of bhao. May be God no longer wants to stay in His mandir-temple because of loss of bhao among the sevaks as well as in the humans flocking for darshans”.
One very disturbing event we witnessed some months back (around October 2007), was how in the Rajbhog darshans, Shreeji was made to wait for nearly 10 minutes for His Aarti. We, all the devotees were inside the parisar (mandir) with Shreeji granting Darshans. To our extreme surprise Shreeji just stood before us without His Aarti being performed. The current Tilkayatji was present that day. It‘s a rule that if any Tilkayatji is present then he does the aarti for Shreeji that day; also there are particular days when he has to be present for Shreeji. Because this present lineage holder, Tilkayatji was late he made Shreeji stand there before the entire public for more than nearly 10 minutes. It was a shame as how Shreeji could be given so much shram (tiredness). The Divine Thakurjee, ShreeNathji today right before all our eyes waited for the Tilkayatji to come and perform His Aarti. Normally according to the rules established by Shri Gusainji, Shreeji is not supposed to be kept waiting for anything or anyone. Today rules are bent by the same balaks of Vallabh kul to suit their purpose.
Who was responsible that day to commit this error of making our beloved Shreeji wait?
I was present that day, so was a witness to this incident. What about more incidents like this whom no one has the courage to demand explanations of.
I on behalf of all Shreeji devotees demand an explanation. Who gives them the right to cause Shram to our Thakurjee? Why are they not asked for explanations? As it is, today since nearly the past 100 years, all the Vallabh kul balaks, who should have been promoting Shreeji’s bhakti in the hearts of the followers, make the devotees worship themselves. Where are the high, divine principals laid by their very own fore fathers? They are here to take care and do sewa of Shreeji.
Will Shreeji forgive them?
Why do you think we were present and a sakshi (witness) to the shameful happening in the sewa?
Shreeji is aware of whatever is happening, so maybe He chose us to witness it for ourselves and make the ones who have made mistakes to ask Him for forgiveness.
Another amazing happening I was a witness to was in the Mangala darshan.
I was woken up very early by gurushree. He said that we will go and sit in the outer parisar (compound) early today, just inside the Lal Darwaza where we always wait for Mangala on a regular basis. Shreeji has sent a hukum (order). I have learnt from experience to just follow the orders whenever gurushree says something, explanations come later. So I showered and reached there at around 3.30 am. Once there we realized what was happening. As there is the construction work going on around the Haveli; a truck was being loaded with the stone debris from the inside of the left side area right inside the Lal Darvaza. It caused immense noise as the workers did not have any instructions from the temple board to work silently. We were astonished as to how the mandir board allows this much noise all through the night.
We realized why we were called here so early when Shreeji’s melodious voice echoed, in which Shreeji told us, “Dekho puri raat kitni awaz karte hain. Yeht koi sochta hi nahi ki main ander sour aha hun, itne aawaz meinn mai kaise sau sakta hun. Kissse ko kuch bhao hi nahi hai ki Shreeji andar sau rahe honge. Tum logon ko iseliye jaidi bulaya tha, yeh dikhane ke liye. Main yahan kiyon rahu?Main yahan se bhaag jaata hun”. “(Entire night they make so much noise. See there is no bhao. They do not even consider that Shreeji is sleeping inside and would be disturbed. I called you’ll early to show this, no one cares. Why should I stay here? All are selfish)”.
How angry do ‘we’ get when during some festivals loud music is played and ‘our’ rest disturbed? Loud noise or music is prohibited after a certain hour as it disturbs ours; humans rest and sleep.
Shreeji, being so full of kindness and compassion lets it be. In a very sleepy and tiny voice He again said, “Koi baat nahin, humans have lost all bhao, its ok”. “Main yahan se bhaag jaata hun, yahan soata hi nahin”. (It does not matter. Humans have lost all bhao. I do not sleep here any more. I run away from here).
We had tears in our eyes. Today how non feeling human has become. God has to come out and take care of Himself. We have lost all bhao. The entire mandir board, as well as the Tilkayatji is responsible for this lack of proper planning and supervision in the Haveli work. Entire nights Shreeji may have not been able to sleep because of the very loud noise of loading stones in a truck. It is an accepted fact that Shreeji lives here, that is why none is allowed in the premises once the Shayan Darshan is over. No one inside also dares to make any noise so as not to cause disturbance to Thakurjee.
The entire area which belonged to Shreeji is now being cleared; how and why?
People have come with their shops till the main entrance of Shreeji’s Haveli. Here they dirty and cause filth all over, not giving any thought about the purity that should be maintained if God Lives here. They all take advantage of the kindness and forgiveness nature of Shreeji. Has anybody given it any thought? Finally Shreeji must have thought; they have encroached till the gates of My Haveli. It would be His desire to now reclaim it all to its original glory. The initial purity and peace that must have been there when Shreeji moved from Mathura has to return. It is Shreeji’s decision and cannot not be followed.
No one dare to oppose What Shreeji wants. He has shown enough kindness and understanding. Also according to the original books His stay in Nathdwara is nearly coming to an end. He will soon be returning to His original home which I am sure He loves and misses very much. No one knows how and when what would happen. It is His town and His Haveli; and may be Shreeji is not happy with the way His sewa is being done. No one can stop Him if He decides to leave and go back to His favorite Dham – Vrindavan Dham.
We all know God needs a human counterpart to be able to work in the outer dimensions; for the completion of His leela. In the initial periods there was Shri Vallabhacharya, and then came Shri Gusainji. These two divine guru initiated the divine souls into Shreeji’s leela, their counting being 84 and 252 respectively. Till the time these two highly pure souls inhabited earth Shreeji enlightened us with His Bliss of Direct Leelas. All the 84 divine souls initiated by Shri Vallabhacharya and later the 252 divine souls initiated by Shri Gusainji, merged within His Being. They were the souls left over from His Shree KrishnRadha Avatar, (Incarnation) when many divine shaktis inhabited earth to take part and enjoy the bliss of Shree Krishn and Radha’s leelas.
It is a belief in Pushti maarg that experiences with any leela of Thakurjee cannot be spread out to others. It is followed by all as Thakurjee’s Hukum (divine order). It is only His Hukum that would allow any bhakt to write and document anubhuties about the leela and play of Thakurjee. None can have the courage to write about Shreeji unless He, Himself wishes it to happen. We can call it the Divine order. There are at times certain occasions when God gives permissions for showing powers in order to show the world His Presence. This is only for the benefit of humans or when He wishes for some one to develop the required faith and aastha. The receivers are called lucky; as there obviously has to be something so strong in the past births that one becomes a saakshi (witness) to the Divine Leelas and Plays; may be a part of some also.
As any shakti who comes to earth in a human form, enter the cycle of karma. To relieve these left over jeev atmas from their earthly karmic cycles Shree KrishnRadha once again appeared as ShreeNathji from on the Govardhan hill. They immediately manifested Their human counterparts, first as Shri Vallabhacharya, then as Shri Gusainji, who are believed to be an intimate ansh of ShreeNathji Himself. These entire Leelas were recorded by Shri Gusainji’s son and Shri Vallabhacharyaji’s grand son Gokulnathji, in the two very famous documentary books; 84 Vaishnavas; 252 Vaishnav ki Varta. I call them documentary and not story; as anything which has been recorded as facts and given in the world cannot be stories; they are live experiences or history and recorded then by Gokulnathji; a part of the third generation. Facts about God and about His live Presence is not allowed unless, it is the wish of the Super Shakti Himself to give it to us.